Seriously, I just had one of the best weekend's of my life. You know the moments when you feel like the stars align and miraculously nothing goes wrong?!? I know, I sound completely annoying but this was a MUCH needed break for me and everything was perfect.
Last Tuesday night I took a late flight out to SLC and met up with Mom and Spring (and 48 other women) in Midway, Utah at The Homestead Resort for a Quilting Retreat. It was so inspiring and so much fun! We quilted all day, every day from at least 8am-11pm. We chatted, we ate yummy food, we enjoyed the scenery and we got soo much done! (collectively, I mean. Personally, I didn't get as much done as I should have. :) ) I got to meet my Mom's friends and soak in the glow of thier crazy, CRAZY talent. When I grow up, I want to be them.
I got to go to a few cute quilt stores and stock up on supplies that they just don't carry here in the South (supplies for 6 quilts and a Block of the month club!!). It was wonderful to see two of my favorite people on earth all weekend and I was lucky enough to be able to spend Saturday afternoon/evening with my neices and nephews. (It made me wish my kids lived closer to thier cousins!) before flying out Sunday night.
While I was off on my own, Husbandface was expertly taking care of things here at home. He took on role of teacher, cook, chouffer, Lego designer, maid and builder ON TOP of being WORLD'S BEST DADDY... Wednesday morning I woke up to these texts... It totally set the tone for a PERFECT weekend knowing I had nothing back home to stress about.
(Thanks Babe, for the most perfect birthday present ever. You're the best.)
About 7 years ago I was reading a book and holding a newborn baby girl on my chest. The book was a beautiful book with a strong woman with and even stronger daughter and I thought about how I was going to teach my daughter to be strong and tender and hardworking and loving and sensitive and all the other amazing qualities a good female role model has. Instead of realizing what a daunting task this seemed to be, I started making a list. A list of MUST READ books for her. Lessons that are taught much more elequently then I could.... while it is an ever changing/ updating list this is Our Mother/Daughter Book List as of right now...
The Paper Bag Princess- I first read this in Middle School at EFY but, it's message is so beautiful and simple and endearing I want my daughter to remember it... always. We have read this one often since she was 2, hopefully as she grows she'll remember she's never too big for a good picture book.
Madeline- Because really, who doesn't love this spunky girl full of adventure and determination.
Do Princesses Wear Hiking Boots? I loved this book the moment I read it. A princess can be whoever she wants to be!
The Secret Garden- Lorali and I actually already read this one aloud together and oh my goodness, it was magical! It was sofun to see her realize what happened and to talk to her about how changing your attitude can change your happiness. If She's in the backyard, she and the boys are almost always playing Secret Garden.
A Little Princess- This one she's getting for Christmas. She's watched the Shirley Temple movie soo much but I want her to read the book as well. Such a strong character teaching her about endurance and having a good attitude. I can't wait to get started.
Pollyanna- Same message as Little Princess- and yes, I think having a good attitude is an important enough lesson that it needs to be reenforced. A Good Attitude can change her life and I want that for her. She's getting this for Christmas as well.
Charlotte's Web By EB White- A classic... I mean, no childhood is complete without this one, no matter how many times they watch the movie they need to read the book, if only to learn that the book is always better then the movie.
The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate - We read this a few years ago to all the kids and watching this little girl grow up is really enchanting and I'm soo glad we jumped ahead and read to them this level of book (and they enjoyed it!) . Even Doug loved the writing and the setting (A Cotton Farm in Texas). It's a great book about being inquesitive and unexpected.
Pippi Longstocking By Asterid Lindgren- This one's a cute read, fun and silly and important because I want Lorali to know that life doesn't have to be storybook to be real or fun.
Little House on the Prairie By Laura Ingalls Wilder- Another classic... with lots of strong women that have different strengths and still have lessons to learn from one another. I love that aspect.
Tuck Everlasting By Natalie Babbitt- A fantasy novel about immortality and asking if it's worth it or not.... it's actually a lot of the same questions asked in Twilight without the terrible - creepy bad example of an unhealthy relationship and minus the teenage engst.
Freckles and Girl of the Limberlost by Gene Stratton-Porter- A classic girl-meets-boy and sets out on an adventure novel. It's wonderfully written and protrays a girls love for nature that will stay with the reader for years to come. Even the mother-daughter conflict has a lesson to be learned.
Sarah, Plain and Tall By Patricia MacLachlam- A beautifully written novel set late 19th centure Western US with a wonderful female lead. The leasons of how to cope with change and feelings of abandonment are wonderful.
Anne of Greene Gables By L.M. Montgomery- Because really, I've never met any woman ever who has actually read these books and not fallen in love with them. Anne is the perfect example of endearing, imperfect, perfection. She's smart and teander and flawed and strong. LOVE IT!
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott- Another classic with a lot of very different female role models that teach a million lessons. They're all flawed, they're individuals and yet still strong and smart and loving. While my Little Miss doesn't have the joys of having a sister this book will certainly give her that, even if it's just for the 546 pages of the book. Besides, Lorali wants to be an author when she grows up and I want her to read about Jo and how she became and author.
The Diary of a Young Girl By Anne Frank- This one I want both my boys and girls to read.... To learn the frailness of life, to understand the importance of family, to realize the strength and power of even a young child.
Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli- A great pre-teen novel that teaches individuality and acceptance and staying true to who you are. Very short, quick read but fun and entertaining as well.
Girl in Translation by Jean Kwok- A wonderful book about a girl who emigrated to the US with her Mom and lives a double life as star student at school and sweatshop working, obediant daughter at home. Wonderful novel that highlights womens ability (and sometimes flaw) to translate feelings and parts of themselves when they're with different people/settings. Strong female lead that is flawed enough to learn from what not to do and strong enough to overcome that.
The Scarlet Letter For the casual reader Hester Prynne might be a victim but she is everything more then that as well. She's flawed and hurt and full of faith, she is strong in the face of unforeseen challenges and a complex woman who is worth looking at through an individuals eyes.
The Secret Life of Bees By Sue Monk Kidd- I loved the perpective that this one gave. I want Lorali to learn that surrounding yourself with people that love her both family and friends will not only make her life easier but happier.
Plain Truth and My Sister's Keeper By Jodi Picoult - Because every woman needs to know what others go through to protect thier children, to stay part of a group and what lengths people go to in order to hide the truth --- and how many people can get hurt. Besides, a little mystery and intrigue are good for ya. ;)
Gone With the Wind- This one needs to be read as a right of passage. Then re-read at different points in her life as she grows up. Because as endearing as Scarlet O'hare is later in life there are a lot of pitfalls to avoid by learning from her mistakes.
The Help By Katheryn Stocket - I loved this one! It's beautiful and powerful. I think I want my daughter to read it because I need her to understand the power of words. The power of one person and the the power you can have when you combine the two.
Moon Over Manifest- I loved what little Abilene discovers to be a 'true place' and I hope my daughter can discover for herself what that means.
Emma By Jane Austen - One, I think every woman needs to learn the dangers of meddling in another person's life and Two, I think it's imporant to love even the flawed characters in our life. Besides this one you can get lost in and the beautiful english countryside is as good of place as any to disappear.
Memiors of a Geisha By Arthur Golden- This one was actually one of the first books to make it on the list. I think it's important to read things in a timely manner and at an age appropriate time but I also think that many books can help you mature and understand the world around you. This is one of those books and I want Lorali to read this before she turns 18.
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells- This one made the list because Lorali needs to learn that every book doesnt have to be life changing but can still teach a lesson. It also has a wonderful mother/daughter/sister/family storyline that relatable and challenging and heartwarming and irreplaceable.
The Other Bolyn Girl by Philippa Gregory - I think girls are smart. I also think that the world doesn't always expect them to be. This book is wonderful for teaching because of the historical aspect of it and still relevant to us today. It's wonderfully written and thought provocing. So it's on the list.
The Red Tent by Anita Diamant - Another book that I feel Lorali needs to read before she moves out of my home. It's important that she recognize that there were strong women in the bible and that women are there to support other women.
Eat, Pray, Love - (iBook) Another one I read because of someone else. The movie was coming out and I had a Girl's Night Out planned with all the Wallace Women to see it so I figured I'd read it first. I liked it, I was drawn to the fact that the Author really puts herself out there and writes about so much, personally. She's willing to share it all in an effort of self-discovery. I also liked her thoughts about God. Specifically God within You. For me it resonates with my thoughts on eternal life/progression and The King Follett Discourses, Man (and Woman) as God. I wish more people we comfortable writting about and sharing and reading about thier spirituality. The more we read about others the more we realize that religion is all individual and so similar regardless of what church someone goes to.
The Hiding Place By Corrie Ten Boom - Oh I have read this one at least a dozen times. I love Corrie and her sister. One's strength and leadership and one's faith. They were amazing women with pure hearts and and amazing life of living your beliefs. I hope to someday be one-tenth as stong of an example as they were.
Jane Eyre- A woman that suffers greatly yet proves to be passionate, complex, smart and maintain her individual identity without conforming. Lorali, While it's important to see anothers example and admire them and even want to be like them it's also just as important, if not more so, to find your
Much Ado About Nothing- Because reading it will make you enjoy the play that much more and understand the opposite sex that much more and yourself even more then that!!
Book Thief - Set in a poor Nazi German town with a young girl as the center of the story. This is easily one of my favorite books ever. I loved the way it was written. I loved the characters. The writing was poetic and full of artistry. It was beautiful and horrific and magical and profound. The narrator is Death who surprisingly finds the beauty in the human soul. I would recommend this to EVERYONE! Please read it.
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen- This one I've seen on stage, every movie and read the book too many times to count. I love it. enough said.
Les Miserables By Victor Hugo - A change your life- defining book. Right after Bible and Book of Mormon this ranks up there as one of the most important books in my life. And another one I think Lorali needs to read it before she leaves home. Maybe I'll take you to the broadway show when you get it done. Another book I think EVERYONE needs toRE- read as an adult. Powerful, thought provoking, spiritual and absolutely perfect. This one is the creme-de-le-creme.
So there it is... my list for my Lorali. For now. Hopefully she will learn to love reading as much as I do and learn to lose herself in them, learn from them and grow from it. I'm sure I'll add to our little list as I can think of it but this is what I've come up with over the last few years. What do you think? Any I missed?
*and just because of your name I'm going to add to this list SHOWS YOU MUST WATCH (or maybe that's another list all together) but top of that list is Gilmore Girls (and not just because of your name) Rory Gilmore is an avid reader.... you can look at her book reccomendations HERE.
This weekend I'm enjoying a little girl time with 5 of my favorite women in the world!!! All the women on my side of the family decided to run away for the weekend for a few days of sight-seeing, crafting and catching up with each other. It's a much needed break for all of us and I can't wait to see what the city brings us. Happy weekend!
Everyone knows that this is me. 100%. I talk to my Mom every single day for at least an hour and without it I'm pretty sure I would die. either that or go insane. I know that a lot of people thing I'm too dependent, or clingy, I know that other family members are irritated or annoyed. I know that sometimes Doug get's jealous. All these things, I know. The ting is that MY MOTHER IS MY VERY BEST FRIEND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. I would do anything for her, I need her like I need oxygen and the thought of life without her honestly makes me go straight into a panic attack. Without her I would be like a fish out of water, gasping for breath. I talk to her about everything, I go over my stupid fears, I talk over my ever changing emotions about Autism, I whine about my frustrations with church or school or goals, I get advice about parenting and marriage and friendship, she reassures my insecurities and she gives me instructions on making the perfect lemon bars. I love every minute of it. Hopefully I am a sounding board and a support for her as well but in the end all I know is that my time talking to her is my life line. This Mother's day she was traveling so I couldn't get ahold of her until late but I was thinking of her every minute of the day- making my mental list of things I needed to tell her, questions I wanted to ask and things I needed to say. Even after we hung up I went to be thinking about how blessed I am. I really do have the most amazing, talented, loving and beautiful mother on the planet. She knows me. She loves me for me and she has taught me how to be myself, how to stand up for myself, how to sew, how to be self-less and giving and still self assertive. She has taught me self-worth and integrity. She has taught both me and my kids that family is the most important thing. She has shown me how to support and disagree and love wholeheartedly all at the same time. I LOVE MY MOM and there just isn't enough time in the world to soak up all that she has to give. She is my Mary Poppins.... Practically Perfect in Every Way!
This last week has been rough. It's gotten to the point that it's not just hard on me it's tearing apart my family. Doug's frustrated, the kids are irritable and I don't feel like I can help. I'm not sure if I could pin point the reason why I've been so depressed lately but trust me, if I could I'd capture it, lay on the guilt and stick it in a mound of fire ants just to teach it a lesson I would. "Lay off! Give the girl a break!" I'd yell. "Everything was fine, Joanna was content until you had to came along and screw it all up!"
I've actually been thinking a lot about what's wrong with me and why. Here's a few of the things that are taking the role of scapegoats in my life this week.
1. my jealousy
2. my hormones
3. my (stupid?) decision not to take my dream job
4. my (extreme) fear of change
5. my lack of a baby bump
6. my self-oncious
7. my lack of being able to control anything around me
8. my (unfair) expectations of those around me
9. my frustrations with not selling the house
10. my unanswered questions about where/what my future looks like
11. my fear of rejection... again.
12. my loneliness.
Wait... I better stop there. I just realized that all of these are my own problems... and I hate fire ants.
It might come as a shock to most of you (it certainly does to me) but, I still have my calling as RS teacher. 2nd Sunday of the month. It was shocking enough that when they split our ward this past winter they left me in. Maybe they were just that desperate. I'm not sure how long I'll be there simply because I'm me, and well, we all know theres a past history of the ward (and it's leadership) not being uber supportive of me and my family. Either way, the calling has been wonderful for me. I have loved the lessons and putting my thoughts, feeling and soul into it. I do still think it's hilarious that every single lesson (except one) has been overseen by at least one member of the Bishopric but, the famous Rhett Butler quote sums up my feelings on that perfectly. Every lesson so far has taught me something, pushed me to grow and hopefully help the few RS sisters that come to class.
This past week though... it just about tipped me over the edge. Lesson 9= Prophets of God. Not a bad lesson in any way. it was actually packed full of information and thought. I just didn't like that it fell on that particular day... seriously... it was MOTHER'S DAY! Let's say that again, MOTHER'S DAY, people! Why wasn't there a lesson on Women Prophets in the scriptures? or Heavenly Mother? or Strong LDS throughout history? Those all could have been enlightening, educational and faith promoting. Oh wait! Let's add a little insult to injury here and mention that it wasn't just the EQ and RS lesson that made no mention of Mothers or Women, the primary lessons my kids received last week were on The PRIESTHOOD. Nope, not making that one up. My 4 year old daughter knew it was Mother's Day so she proudly walked out of class with a necklace in her hand, "Mom, I made this! It's for you!" She put it on me and beamed. It was adorable. I continued talking to another ward member and didn't get a chance to look down and really focus on her gift. When I did all I could do was laugh. (and not in a 'oh, my daughters so cute' kinda way) It was a hand-colored band aide necklace with the quote "If it is Sick that I am feeling, I will let the priesthood do the healing"... awww.... so sweet. *insert gag here*. Seriously, any other day of the year- I wouldn't have even blinked. Whatever. But, it's FREAKING Mother's Day! I hate to get on my feminist soapbox here, I do. Really.(well, mostly hate it). But, I know that as a Latter-Day Saint Woman I signed on to be marginalized and well, under-apprieciated. Blah, Blah, Blah. Women all over the world are- we aren't unique in our religion on this subject, it's just the way it is. But, seriously, on Mother's Day?! Isn't that the day everyone's supposed to at least pretend they care? The day we get tacky homemade necklaces, burnt toast and at least a nod or two from our priesthood leaders? Something like "We really couldn't do any of this without all of you, Men suck, you are the one's nagging us to fulfill our callings, you're the ones who are 'virtuous' and get us to the temple or on missions, we're nothing without you and we understand that it's the women who are actually teaching our children and perpetuating our religion in the homes"??? okay, so maybe that's not the exact line :) but, you get the idea. I think just saying something (even if it's smoke up our butts) along the lines of appreciation would go along way. Actually, our ward supposedly 'gave out' potted flowers too. But, wait, I say 'supposedly' because you only get them if you go into the kitchen and pick it up for yourself, like a tacky all you can eat buffet line, when you're done shoveling your 5 kids to class because heaven forbid the YM or Elders Quorum get off their butts to bring anything to you... that might seem too submissive and really, we wouldn't want women feeling like they had any power, right? Yeah, no flowers here, Thanks for the thought anyway.
OKay, that being said....here's the thing. I don't actually blame anyone for this. Yeah, local leaders could have gone out of their way a little more- but, then again I doubt their wives were reminding them to do this either. :) And surely our General Authorities knew it was Mother's Day when they selected the teaching guide for the year. But they didn't set a teaching guide for just us- it's a world-wide religion now a days, right? It's the price to be paid for unity throughout the church. So... while this irritates me and strikes me as completely ridiculous I get it...
Yesterday was my day of contemplation. My day of relaxation and for recuperation. We made pancakes for breakfast, we went to church, we watched documentaries, we talked to family, I created and I wrote. I reflected on my thoughts and my actions over the last few weeks and a large part of me is embarrassed. I know I said exactly what was on my mind but, I'm embarrassed my insecurities got the best of me. Everyone has times in their life when they doubt themselves. (at least I hope I not the only one!) Obviously last week was a doubters week. Feeling so many daggers come at me during my doubting moments put me on the defensive and for that I am sorry. I'm not perfect. Far from it. I do know that the world is not out to get, nor is my ward. There are so many wonderful people who do live in my ward that I really don't give enough credit to. Yeah, there are people who muddy the waters a bit for me but, I can't let that overshadow the support and love that I see these people show on a daily basis. I'm a flawed person. I'm someone who is trying to be a better mother, a better sister, daughter, aunt. A better wife and obviously a better friend. Maybe someday, if I keep trying I can be somewhat successful at this life I'm trying to balance.
Please take a minute and read THIS article over at The Exponent. It's a great article. I read it last week and it's got my thoughts consumed right now. When Doug left the church and the kids got sick he obviously stopped giving them blessings. It pissed me off. I felt like he was making them suffer. I didn't have Home Teachers at the time (except for a few months there in the middle, I still don't) and our closest friends in the church lived pretty far away. My family lived across the country so there wasn't ANYONE I could have called up and ask to 'stop by' to give the kids a blessing when they needed it at home.
I knew the history within the church that Mormon women gave blessings. For faith and healing and strength. I certainly admired women that had done it before but felt like if I gave my children a blessing then it would be a weak substitute for the 'power' that the priesthood holds. Somehow the blessing they got was sure to be sub-par coming from me. I'm not trying to take away from the priesthood here. I really do have a strong testimony of the direct priesthood line from Christ, given to LDS men. What I'm saying is that with the emphasis on the men's great Priesthood Power I think that women's roles as blessers and healers was somehow lessened and in some cases lost.
I wonder why? Because I think the church has amazing, strong women in it who would benefit from the strength and lessons or our early pioneer sisters.... just my thoughts today.
My entire life I haven't really had fantasy heroes. I never wanted to be Wonder Woman and I knew that Superman would never come to my rescue. I've never held on to celebrities as examples and I don't think I've ever had a hero I hadn't met. That being said, I have A LOT of heroes (and heroins , thank you very much!) that I've been lucky to meet throughout my life. I haven't really told anyone about who my hero's have been over the years. I quietly watch people from the distance and realize that I tend to have a new hero in each new location I live. In Rhode Island there was an amazing woman named Sister Coates. She lived in my sister's ward and oh, how I admired her. I loved her positive attitude and upbeat personality. I loved how she treated her sons and I wished I could convey as much compassion as she did with just her voice. She had faith and a relationship with her creator that was obvious when you looked at her. She was regal and graceful and beautiful (i'm sure she still is). I had some papers that were all the traits that I saw in her that I wished I had and that I knew someday I could develop. When I first moved to Georgia, I wished there would be a Sister Coates for me again. There wasn't. Now that I've lived here a little longer, I have two more Georgia heroins that I admire from a distance, although very different from my Sister Coates, still very special to me. One of those quiet hero's of mine recently moved. To California. and I'm bitter. I wasn't done learning from her yet. I know that the list of amazing qualities I have already seen in her is just the tip of the iceberg and I feel like I've been jipped out of her greatness. I felt like a better person just being able to be in the same room with her. Like her awesomeness would somehow rub off onto me. I know, it's 100% selfish of me but, I'm sad she's moved. I'm a flawed person, what can I say.
I think that's why I love my little band of hero's. I think I choose my hero's because they are real. They don't even know how amazing they are and they strive to learn, grow and be better. (even though they are practically saints already!) Christine Howell was another one of my real life hero's that I still strive to be more like. She was loving and compassionate and hardworking and beautiful and so much fun through whatever trials she encountered, always with a smile on her face. I love that I have memories of hugging my Grandma Smith. To this day I'm sure that some of her awesomeness is in me somewhere, I just have to find it! So many hero's I should share I might have to give them each their own posts! I'm getting away from my point!
Last weekend I was reading Kelli's blog and she pointed me to NieNie. Can we say... amazing! I haven't met her but, holy cow. If I could only be one tenth of the person she is... oh my! I know so many of you have heard of her and if you have, I have some serious words for you. Like why the heck have you been reading my blog and putting up with all of my whining?! Seriously people! Tell me to SHUT THE HECK UP! My life, my trials and my whining. My problems are nothing. NOTHING!Tell me to be thankful that my kids know my name, or that I can pick them up. Tell me to be glad I'm not in the hospital. Tell me to have the faith that it will all work out? BASICALLY TELL ME TO STOP BEING SO FREAKING SELF-ABSORBED! I have been so worried about my own problems for so long that I forget how blessed I am. This woman is full of hope and FAITH. I know I haven't met her but, She is now being added to my shortlist of real life hero's.
Even though I haven't met Ms. Stephanie Nielson, I wish I could be like her because she is my hero and even though Ms. Erin Howe has completely abandoned my life in Bethlehem, I still wish I could be like her because she is my hero. Thankfully, because of the wonderful world of blogs, I can still learn from both of them and maybe someday have some of their awesomeness rub off on me too.
Okay, so the business seems to be running itself. I've decided to focus on the invitation, announcement and card side of it for the first little bit. That way there is a solid foundation to build the event planning side down the road. I've been getting regular orders in for over 2 months now and I can not tell you how much I'm loving it! I'm sending out 150+ business mailers here locally this week for Christmas card orders and my online ordering website went live earlier this week! So, if you want to order Christmas cards, Invitations, Napkins, Announcements or anything else personalized give me a call! I have the physical sample book here in Georgia or you can now check me out online HERE! Even with the focus on the Stationary side of it, I still worked an event this past weekend and I have a couple corporate Christmas parties I'm consulting on this next month. I'm 100% possitive that I've found the PERFECT job for me.
Recent Comments