Our family picked up an unexpected house guest from church this week. Norovirus, we call her Noro. Seriously, you'd think if you homeschool you'd be spared from these crazy unwanted visitors and outbreaks but us mormons are super generous and love to give everything we have to others (and 3 hours or church tends to be a breeding ground for germs). For all the terrible, awful that Noro' has brought to our house, she does have a few redeeming qualities. First is the added benefit of washing every single cloth item in your entire house, I mean really, I have always wanted to run my washer continuously for 4 days straight, just to see if it could handle it and I am proud to report my washer rocked it. Second, is that your food budget will goes down. I mean, yeah there is the wasting the food you ate because it comes back up but once you're past that stage and no one in the house eats anything for 36 hours you realized that you may have a couple extra bucks in your pocket. Yeah, there's the starving yourself and your children part but in this economy every penny counts, right? But wait, there's more! Even after everyone gets better there's an added bonus, your taste is screwed up so no one will want to eat anything. Everything tastes like chalk and you won't be hungry for real for at least a week. Which bring up the third happy thought with Noro.... The Weight Loss, in my first 18 hours of sickness I lost 8 pounds. Yeah I could try a fad diet or go workout or even do a body cleanse but both puking and pooping is sooooo much more effective. I mean, good-bye baby weight! I think by the time we're all full recovered a permanent 10 pounds will be gone for good. I understand that you may be weak and therefore may never again exercise in your life, which may cause long term weight gain and I know the loss of weight may not be good for the kids but what better time to teach them what swimsuit ready means? So, if you're up for the possitives and super fun of Noro at your house I'm sure she'd love visit you as well, come on over I could teach my kids how to share.
When life hand you lemons, right?
Sincerly sick and pathetic,