I think after all Husbandface and I have been through with Ethan we've realized one major thing.... EARLY INTERVENTION HAS HELPED!! We've seen so many kids over the years who have not gotten help (ie; speech, occupational therapy, etc.) and it's heartbreaking to see the difference in development and growth. We see parents of teens/adults who are clearly struggling in some way and yet they're unwilling to admit that they need help for their child. We have friends who have kids that are struggling just like ours yet they refuse to admit that there is something they could do. I think that in this regard we lucked out. We had a great ENT who told us to call Babies Can't Wait (our local toddler intervention program). Then we had an amazing Speech therapist who recognized that our Sunshine just was not progressing like he should be. Then we had a wonderful coordinator who sat us down and flat out told us TO GO GET HELP! "The best thing you can do for him is to give him the tools to succeed.", she said. She wanted him to get a formal diagnosis and she was adamant that we do it as quickly as possible.
We struggled coming to grips with that one... The waiting lists, finding the right doctors and the expense! That was the kicker for us. Maybe we're just being paranoid parents. Maybe this is just a phase. Maybe he's not talking late because he's an only child. Boy's are slower in developing then girls. What if we take him in and the doctors think we're crazy and over protective. We were young, we were first time parents, we were not making a ton of money and we were house poor at the time. Finding $2,000 for anything seemed impossible. In the end we decided to just face our fears and find out how to help our son. It was a hard decision. It did tear us up inside and both Husbandface and I dealt with is very differently. That being said? IT WAS NOT ONLY THE BEST $2,000 WE HAD EVER SPENT IT WAS THE BEST DECISION WE HAVE EVER MADE.
Getting a concrete answer was priceless. We knew exactly what our son was dealing with. We knew how to help him. We had a game plan. We found the right experts. We didn't feel like we were lost in an unknown forest anymore. We came out of the woods, we found a trail and we found a support system. We dealt with it differently and there were times when the diagnosis created tension on our marriage. We taught each other a lot. Yes, it was hard but the idea of spending years and years not knowing anything for sure sounds sooo much worse.
In the end I guess what I'm saying is this.... if you are a parent that has concerns? GET THE HELP YOUR CHILD DESERVES!!! The more time you put it off the harder it becomes on not only you but your child. GET A DIAGNOSIS! IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!! So many parents call me and ask what signs I saw, or what they should do, or ask what the next step is.... GET HELP! STOP TRYING TO DO IT ALONE! We have amazing teachers, we have great therapists, we have supportive family members and we have a wonderful life!! Because of the diagnosis we were able to get a customized education plan for him, we were able to get Medicaid, we were able to get the Katie Beckett Deeming Waiver, we were able to get better insurance coverage, and we're able to take care of our son in ways that we never thought we'd be able to. We have goals for our son, we see him progressing on his own levels of success and we know that he will live an amazing, profound life. NO PART OF THE DIAGNOSIS IS A LIFE SENTENCE OR A LABEL. At the end of it you will still have your child and you will be a better parent and you and your child will be happier. I promise.
GO GET HELP!
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