We celebrate the life of the best man I ever knew: a soldier, a father, a husband, a man of faith, a great friend, a warm heart, and the biggest smile ever - my nephew Ray Wallace. His cousin, Cameron Ray Wallace joined our family at 1:32am this morning. May he be as happy in life as his namesake!
-Husbandface
Ray and Ethan.... March 2003
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**insert panic attack here.**
so today I'm a single parent. At least until tomorrow I am... and today I have a showing scheduled on the house, insurance/medical drama to solve, work deadlines to meet, a very sad crying baby and oh, by the way... my house is a mess! When it rains it pours, right? It is such a good thing I cleaned and photographed my office just yesterday to be featured this week on the Tombow Blog.Doug was even shocked to be able to see the top of my desk this past weekend. Even still, I guess today will be all about cleaning... and trying not to think about all the other things on the list that are being ignored.
This weeks just started and already it's been crazy. Last weekend we tore this house apart looking for Ethan's prized Nintendo DS. Nope, it was no where to be found. Turned the car upside down. Nope not there either. It was lost- forever. Ethan rides adaptive transportation and his drive allows a few of the boys to bring their DS's on the ride with the rules that they go straight into their backpacks and stay there while they're at school. He's been doing this for months with no problem. Monday.... they found his DS... at school.... with 5 other DS systems....in another boys backpack.
*insert giant sigh of relief here.*
Sooo glad we found it not only because he can't live without it.... but mainly because I am SOOOOOO glad it wasn't my kid that was stealing all of them.
Owen is officially in the cutest stage ever. He sings, and he 'can fly!' and he loves How to Train Your Dragon. He thinks he can do anything his big brother and sister can do and, surprisingly, he's usually right. He is finally in size 2T clothes... which is a great thing because I was really worried I'd be putting him in 18-24month clothes for his 3rd birthday! We potty trained him over the last month and he had been doing wonderfully and mastered it... until just last week. He said he's done, he said he wants diapers back and he says he wants to stay the baby. I'd be madder about it but, I don't want him growing up either.
*insert quiet frustration here*
This Sunday I teach the Relief Society lesson. I've gone over it and over it... and I'm still not sure how I'm going to present it in a new way and make it memorable. It seems like I go through this every month. I still love my calling and I love the way it pushes me out of my comfort zone and re-evaluates my beliefs. I love it, I just wish were more comfortable with sharing that.
*insert a tiny prayer for me here*
Lorali is doing amazing at school. AMAZING. She's mastered almost all of her Kindergarten sight words and will soon be onto the first grade list, she begs to do homework at night and she wants to be coloring or writing every minute of every day. She reminds me of Emily like that. In fact, everything about her right now reminds me of Emily at this age. Her doting on her siblings, her singing constantly, playing school almost 24 hours a day, her flitting from place to place instead of actually walking, her imagination and creativity. I love it.... all of it. It is so fun to be experiencing this age as the Mom instead of the big sister. (although that was fun too!)
*insert big smiles here*
So in other news.... let's see... Ethan is loving scouts. I am assistant Den Leader to the tiger cubs and it's been so cute to see the boys grow and learn and interact. It's reminding me constantly how far Ethan has come. On the other hand... I've learned and seen first hand so much intolerance that it's been a very painful job for me to do. Last week all the boys were gathered around a fake fire pit and I was reading them a story. A few boys were elbowing each other and trying to get comfortable. One little boy pushed in between Ethan and someone else, just trying to get a little room. Ethan, not liking his personal space invaded, hit him. The other child whined a little, his Mom called him and loved him up and I separated the boys, bringing Ethan to sit by me. The little boy was back reading the story with the group less than 3 minutes later. I thought the problem was solved and the situation was handled. Apparently not. Sunday morning I get a phone call from this boys mother. She is infuriated the minute I say "hello". Livid that I 'tolerated' such behavior, angry that I don't expect better and prevent it. I explained to her that I was sorry, that obviously as a parent we don't want our kids to hit other children and that I'd talk to Ethan. I also told her that Ethan has issues with personal contact. I asked what she wanted from me, as a leader and she demanded a guarantee that it would never, ever happen again. No parent can guarantee anything like that. I'm sorry. They're six and seven year old boys. They hit, they're physical and they're learning appropriate ways to act. She was still more than fuming and started going off about how she heard that Ethan is supposedly Autistic and that she doesn't feel like that is any excuse for him to be traumatizing her son.
*insert ANGER here*
Oh man.... That is when the top blew. SUPPOSEDLY? First of all, I didn't bring it up as an excuse. Second of all, there isn't anything supposed about it, he does have Autism. Third, all the boys are physical and learning each others limits. Fourth, how was that traumatizing? She went on to explain that she knows ALL about autism because she has autistic nephews and if she would have known Ethan was autistic she would have kept her child away from mine because she doesn't allow her son to play with his cousins because of their autism. WHAT?! What kind of intolerance is that?!! It wasn't about autism before but it sure as heck is now! Do you hear yourself lady? Obviously you do NOT understand Autism. Knowing someone with it does not make you an expert. Let me take a minute to show you what acceptance and love and support and understanding of autism looks like....
***Insert a gigantic THANK YOU to all of my siblings and their amazing spouses here***
I know I haven't told you all how much your acceptance of Ethan means to me, he lives for you all and his relationships with your kids are his most prized possessions. He loves Tate and Court and everyday wishes he could play with them on the DS or tackle backle. April, your open heart helped me so much when he was first diagnosed. I could talk to you, and whine to you and you were ever optimistic and I really needed that. He adores Maya and Brynn and I loved seeing them be so tender with him and taking chances to teach him last month. Teri your patience with him from even before you found out has been an example to me as a parent. You kicked into teacher mode from day one and I have seen you handle him with love and tenderness and have seen you teach that acceptance to your kids. You were a sounding board for ideas and treatments and continue to ask about his progress and goals. Thank you. And Kepler? Oh Kepler is Ethan's man! Everyone at Ethan's school knows that Kepler and Ethan can build the best sandcastles and Kepler can find the best seashells and Uncle Sean let's him build rockets and they all have the best light saber battles ever. Emily, even though you didn't have kids you have always treated Ethan in the same over-the-top loving way you treated all the grandkids and he adores you and Joey (well, after Joey sent him that new Lego game Joey might be his new favorite relative but he still loves you too!) He loves his cousins and I couldn't imagine our lives without my family's support.***
... so to the Mom that reported me to the Boy Scouts of America board, I'm sorry for you. I am so sad for your little boy. YOU are teaching so much intolerance and un-acceptance over something that frankly doesn't have anything to do with Autism. I'm sorry you feel like the world is out to get you, I'm sorry you see a seven year old boy (with Autism or not) and see things like hatred and anger. I also feel sorry for your family because you could be such a strength to them. Your nephews could be such a joy in not only your life but your son's as well and you are missing out on an amazing opportunity!
*insert a few tears here*
and HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAMPA!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!
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I LOVE SUMMER
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Halloween. This weekend has been my busiest weekend all year by far! Straight from my party to the kids festivities! Good thing Sean and Spring are here in town to help us get through it! This morning the kids got up early and watched the new Tinker Bell movie and then we all loadded up and went out for brunch. It was soo good but planning on doing that right in the middle of Owen's naptime wore me out. We came home and the kids went down for quiet time while we cleaned up some of the party decorations and then it was time for dinner, costumes and trick or treating! Kepler was the most amazing Buzz Lightyear ever. (Spring handmade it complete with flashing lights) Philip was a Lil' Devil. Ethan was Darth Vader. Lorali was Padme' Amadala and Owen was the cutest Yoda. It was kind of drizzling all evening so I was nervous going out in it but the tempurature was perfect. It only took Owen 2 doors to figure out that he would get candy if he just said "Tick-Teet!" and "Tank-Too!", it was adorable. Kepler and Lorali were little jabber boxes with eachother the entire way but Ethan. Oh boy! He had a hard time right off the bat. His gloves weren't laying right, his lightsaber was too hard to carry, his shoe was wet, his trick-or-treating bag was spinning too much, his mask was itchy.... you name it, nothing was right. He had fun and couldn't stop talking about it when we got home it's just hard as a parent to help him see the fun and excitement in it when he's so obsessed with the little things. His autism certainly does creep up and force it's way into our heads, forcing us not to ever forget, even for one night that it can rule our lives on a moments notice. I'm so glad he was at least able to push through it and settle down once he was at home. It was a fun Halloween my favorite part was having Kepler and Philip here. They are the funnest and Sean and Spring at my party yesterday were uber helpful. Seriously, having family live close to share holidays is the best! Happy Halloween!
(oh, and Go Utes!!!)
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More reflecting on this summer....
another important part of this summer was THE COUSINS. Oh, the fun we had with everyone. The kids had the opportunity to play with all of their cousins within the same 2 weeks- even through it was in 3 different states. First Kepler and Philip came up right before we left. There was a lot of bubbles and playroom fun! Then it was a constant playdate with Court, Tate, Peaches and Izzy while we were in Chicago. Legoland, pool, splash fountain, Mr. Lemon, Rockband, Dolls, Dart Blasters.... The list is just too long! Then it was on to Maya, Brynn, John and Jess. Treehouse sleepovers, Dress-up, Cart Rides, Waterparks and kisses. It was awesome! Yes, they have friends here in Georgia but seriously NOTHING compares to playing with your cousins. I can't wait till we see everyone TOGETHER in December!
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