I haven't written anything about Ordain Women this summer on my blog because it's just been too painful and personal. The attacks on both us as an organization and on friends of mine publiclly and to me personally have been too much to share. I have had to take the summer to reflect and do a little bit of self-care. With that in mind I have decided to at least re-post a few of my facebook 'status updates' because it points to where I am and my feelings through this process....
June 19- Doug's Profile.
Thank you to my many well intentioned friends who are concerned for my spiritual well being, your chats, notes, letters, links to conference talks and testimonies have been heard and studied. I can assure you all the I am not leaving the church. This thing called Mormonism is my home. I Am seeking the correct sources for information to my questions, i do actually have a valid, worthwhile testimony, even if it differs from others. I even have a temple recommend. I know I've been vocal and I sincerely appreciate your patience while I share something so important to me. Yes, I have spoken to My local leaders, yes I'm still very welcome in my faith, I count myself among the lucky ones to have not only loving leaders but also such caring friends.
Love you all.
June 22- Prayer given by Joanna Wallace at the Ordain Women vigil, Virginia June 22, 2014
Our dear Father in Heaven we bow our heads today with broken and humble hearts. We pray for they loving and tender Spirit to be with us, to attend to the many fearful and delicate voices in attendance here and throughout the world tonight. We stand today as sons and daughters of thee to witness and support our faithful friend. We ask in faith and fragility, dear Father, for compassion and mercy on Sister Kate Kelly tonight. We pray that thy servants will have softened and open hearts. We pray that they may see her divinity, faith and worth as thou dost. We pray, at this time, that ALL members and followers of Thee will feel of thy love. That we may know how to unite and heal the wounds that we are all suffering from. At this moment we come before thee united and hopeful that thou will hear our plea and hold us all together as One Body of Christ. This is our sincere prayer, in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ.
July 15- This is exactly how I feel... We're just getting started and even though it hurts (perhaps because it hurts?) it's important and relevant and righteous. To my Mormon Daughters.
This summer I have taken a small self-care break from my local ward as well. The last time I attended an amazing Sunday School lesson was hijacked by a Dude-Bro talking about 'those women' who 'don't understand scripture and are teaching the philosophy of man mingled with scripture'... It was only because I love and respect the teacher that I used every ounce of energy I had not to stand up and get into a full out debate with him. As the summer comes to a close and I reflect on it and prepare to bother get back to work and church I realize that the break has both been healing and heartbreaking. Healing in that I have taken the chance to reflect, realign and set priorities and goals without the extra murmurings in my ear- just me and God involved in those discussions. Heartbreaking because I both miss it and never want to go back, regardless of the fact that I know I belong. I am a Mormon girl who sees us a people getting better and I see the church as part of the restoration of all things, I see it as receiving continual revelation. I've spent the summer fasting and praying and more then ever before... I have both patience and faith that my questions and prayers will be answered.
Now it's time to get back to work.